Stonewall Columbus Pride Festival

If you were in town this weekend, it was probably hard not to notice that Saturday was the 31st annual Stonewall Columbus Pride Festival. I was in Columbus for Pride last year, but didn't actually participate beyond being the unsuspecting victim of a few Pride-related downtown traffic jams. This year I decided to see for myself what all the fuss and traffic jams were about, accompanied by my loyal gay sidekick (or LoGS for short).

Logs and I met up downtown before the Pride parade kicked off on Saturday morning. First stop: CVS, to buy SPF 50 sunscreen and ladies' face wipes for him (Logs is kind of a stereotype, don't worry about it) and a fabulous "ladies' floppy hat" for me. Who knew CVS was such a bastion of high fashion?

By the time we were done sunscreen shopping, High Street was one giant traffic jam and a good portion of the downtown roads were closed off to clear the way for the parade. We were supposed to meet a friend in the Short North to watch the parade, but the buses had all been re-routed to god-knows-where and the hike from State and High to the Short North isn't exactly a casual walk in the park when the temperature is pushing 90 degrees. So we did what any rational person would do: we cut through the downtown Sheraton, walked up to the concierge, and asked if our taxi was there yet. The concierge said we must have just missed it and ordered us a replacement...or, really, just a placement, since obviously we weren't hotel guests and hadn't actually ordered a cab in the first place.

The cabbie was a delightful Moroccan man who would periodically burst into Arabic song and kept telling us about how there must be "100,000 of those people" in town this weekend.

The parade was enjoyable, though we ended up towards the end of the route and most the paraders were pretty exhausted by the time they got to us. My "Champion of the Day" award goes to one particular drag queen who walked the entire five-mile-long parade route in what must have been six-inch heels. The Pride theme this year was "allies and equality," and I was genuinely touched by some of the paraders who were thanking the straight allies in the crowd for their support. One older gentleman was blowing kisses and looked like he was on the verge of tears as he pointed to people in the crowd and thanked them. Finally! I feel like it's about time someone recognized the hardships I've overcome as a middle class heterosexual WASP who has never been denied the right to marry, to adopt children, or to serve in the military.

...In all seriousness, though, it was pretty great to see openly gay veterans in uniform marching in a Pride parade.

The Pride festival itself was held in Goodale park, that downtown grassy patch infamously known for its man-made pond that sprung a leak a while back and has been the city's largest mudhole ever since. There were rows of food trucks serving the typical carnie fare; stands for various community, nonprofit, and gay rights groups; and a couple different stages with musical guests like the Columbus Gay Men's Chorus (fun fact: you need be neither gay nor a man to join). You had to buy drink tickets in order to buy drinks, which I thought was something of a regulatory burden, and the drinks were all priced at $5 a piece, which I was a little grumpy about until Logs reminded me it was all going to a good cause (that is, Stonewall Columbus).

The highlights for me were 1) the Obama stand where they were giving away Fla-vor-ice popsicles if you signed up to receive Obama For America emails, which of course I did for the sake of the Fla-vor-ice, though the volunteer working the booth almost wouldn't give me one when she saw I was already wearing a giant "Gary Johnson: Libertarian for President" sticker; and 2) the stand where, for $5, some creative ladies would decorate your hat so it would be appropriately fabulous for Pride. My CVS "ladies' floppy hat" got quite the makeover with feathers and rhinestones, which I'm going to have to somehow peel off if I ever want to wear that hat in a non-Pride setting.

It wasn't until I got home later that night that I realized I still had one drink ticket left. I guess that means I'll have to go again next year?