Friday, June 15, 2012

Beck Tavern

Beck Tavern has got to be the dive-iest, dirtiest, darkest, dankest, most-unheard-of bar in Columbus, and that is exactly why I love it. Well, that and the fact that it is literally about 100 feet from my house.

In general, my #1 complaint about Columbus bars is that every good place is also extremely popular and thus incredibly crowded at exactly all the times that I want to go there. Not so with Beck Tavern, which is not to be confused with its much more popular cousin High Beck. High Beck has outdoor seating and a pool table and, if you read my last post, occasional ubiquitous balloons; Beck Tavern is located off of a street that is barely more than an alleyway, I'm pretty sure most of the light bulbs inside are burned out, and they have a sign on the door that says you're not allowed to enter unless you have a valid Ohio driver's license. Well, I've lived in Ohio for more than a year and haven't yet worked up the courage to make a trip to the BMV and trade in my old Indiana license. Not only has Beck Tavern never given me a problem about their "Ohio Only" discrimination policy, but I've never even been carded.

Beck is the kind of bar where the bartenders wear t-shirts with "The Punisher" logos on them, cheap beer is primarily served in large pitchers, and every surface is just very vaguely sticky. In other words, it's dive bar heaven. My deepest fear is that the hipsters will discover this place, trade out the televised football games for episodes of "Portlandia," replace the dart boards with a vintage '70s futon, and make all the Punisher bartenders wear salmon-colored skinny jeans and grow porn star 'staches. Or in other words: turn it into Bodega.

Beck Tavern on Urbanspoon

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